Considerate Witnessing

This past week a post from Reddit has gone viral. Someone self-identified as a pastor wrote a snarky comment on a restaurant receipt. The large group had been charged a 18% gratuity---not an uncommon restaurant practice----and the person commented that God only gets 10%, why should the waitperson get 18%? The person intentionally wrote “pastor” upon the receipt. http://www.keyt.com/news/Pastor-stiffs-waiter-I-give-God-10/-/17671600/18353164/-/view/print/-/23qsap/-/index.html

I did find the other side of the story: http://whotv.com/2013/01/31/pastor-explains-i-give-god-10-why-do-you-get-18-comment-on-receipt/ http://www.stltoday.com/lifestyles/columns/joe-holleman/server-s-tip-at-stl-applebee-s-is-center-of/article_32ea0dd6-a32a-5d77-9fd6-3cb4772658cc.html Reading these, I think of the times I've felt annoyed at a restaurant and came close to being rude in return. But the incident made me think about the general idea of sharing our faith with people---the way we communicate ourselves as Christians to others.

I think that witnessing to your faith is a genuine way---that is not scolding but rather humble and uplifting---can be extremely tricky. I've known plenty of pastors who made snooty comments, who were pious but in a chiding way. I know that I've made unintentionally snarky comments when I didn't mean it that way, or when I was low and "not myself." All my life, I've been concerned about sharing my faith in an unintentionally off-putting way; I’d rather keep quiet and let people see what I’m about, “to be there” for them and to be kind, to allow faith matters to come up naturally in conversation.

My first efforts at witnessing as a teenager were pitiful. It wasn't that I was haughty; in fact, I was (and still am) insecure and eager to be liked. But I didn't have a gift of evangelistic eloquence comparable to a friend who declared about some acquaintances of his, “I led him and his family to Christ, right there in their living room!” I read Paul Little’s How to Give Away Your Faith but had trouble applying the advice to myself.

I recall talking to a friend about faith, but I really didn’t know the best way to approach the subject. I had the right idea: to share how wonderful is Christ’s presence in one’s life, rather than to scold the person. But our conversation was like a bad blind date with long awkward silences. Later, I tried a different approach; I invited another friend to Sunday school. I got a defensive reaction, as if I’d made a value judgment upon the person’s character, but I’d meant no such thing. But here again, the trickiness: I was sharing with the person that I’m a member of something that my friend should join but hadn’t yet, and that my friend should. Of course, that would seem offputting if not communicated well. It would've been better had I waited for a more natural and unforced opportunity.

When you do share your faith, you’re implying that you’re plugged into something that the other person doesn’t have, and to share that without implying that YOU’RE wonderful, rather than God, isn’t always easy. Plus, the person may have a genuine faith already, it just isn't expressed in the same way as yours, so to imply the person has no or deficient faith is insulting. Not surprisingly, the disciples in, for instance, Acts, not only talked about their faith but did things to demonstrate God's love.

When you’re religious, you’re held to high standards in people’s perceptions. (That pastor is already dealing with unpleasant feedback.) But on the other hand, your faith is not about you, and, in fact, you want to guide people beyond your piety and achievements and failings to the God who does for us that which we cannot do for ourselves, which is to redeem and transform us, with a divine love that shows no partiality. Being a Christian is always a balance between being a sincere, fallible, and yes, very sinful and sometimes insensitive person, and simultaneously being transparent to God’s grace and a blessing for others, a clay jar filled with enriching treasure (2 Cor. 4:7).

After I posted this, I noticed another blog post that discussed the problem of Christians being our own worst enemies in presenting our faith to others. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/justin-lee/are-christians-christianitys-worst-enemies_b_2586339.html