A Big Week

Several times over the years, something good happened to me but also, thereby, several things in my life fell into place and I discerned God’s guidance over a period of time. Prior to the time when the blessing came, I struggled and felt badly that things aren’t going well. Likely, I also felt hurt about some aspect of the situation. Then when the blessing came, it occurred in a way so interestingly timed that I could affirm God’s providence---and, likely, a divine sense of humor.

This happened to me again this past week, after I’ve struggled with feelings of spiritual dryness and low-level discouragement for quite a while. (Some of my blog posts over the last couple years refer to these feelings, more than I realized.) I wish I could say that, from now on, I’ll trust God more consistently. At least I know the limits of my trust, confess my weakness to God, and continue to pursue spiritual disciplines while I’m feeling badly.

I’m being a little hard on myself, because part of my struggles stemmed from the deaths of my mother and my wife’s mother within a fourteen month period in 2012 and 2013. That pain will be ongoing. But still, I’m happy when “God’s serendipity” becomes clear, in my life and family members'  and friends’ lives.

This past week, I also got good medical tests results in response to a health scare. I'd had one symptom from a routine blood test, which was likely nothing but could have indicated something serious. My doctor wanted to be sure, so we did more tests. Now I have a clean bill of health. But, of course, this whole situation required four or five weeks to make appointments, get the tests done, and worst of all, to wait for the test results. One's mind spins crazy, "what if" scenarios.

While not secret, I never put all this on Facebook, because I’ve friends who really do have serious health problems, whereas I was only mired in worry. The tricky thing about praising God for blessings is that, just as life is unfair for everyone but in different ways, so blessings and answered prayers don't happen the same way for each person, and that can cause sad feelings. I wanted to affirm God's goodness in public yet I didn't want to imply that God isn't good to my friends who are undergoing treatment.

When the possibility of a health situation arises, a person does think seriously: what if this is truly serious? We all have to face those situations, sooner or later; maybe this is the time. If so, a lot of life will change, both for ourselves but also our families.

I always love the story of the Ebenezer in 1 Samuel 7. The Philistines had defeated the Israelites years before in the same place (1 Samuel 4), but in this battle the Israelites prevailed. “Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Jeshanah, and named it Ebenezer; for he said, ‘Thus far the Lord has helped us’” (1 Sam. 7:14). (That Hebrew term אבן העזר, transliterated "Eben ha-Ezer," means "stone of help").

I believe God helps us constantly and continually. We can’t always see it. Some people face situations in which it’s very difficult to see divine presence: the situation is just uniformly awful. But what a blessing when the light pops through the dark clouds and we get a sense of the divine presence. Then that blessing becomes a reminder to which we can look back, like a permanent indicator of God's help, and hopefully we can feel confident again.