A Buddhist Idea for Lent

The Buddhist concept of attachment has for a long time been helpful to me, especially the idea that we become attached to certain expectations, hopes, and dreams, and images of who we are or should be. (A while back I purchased but still haven’t read Paul F. Knitter’s book, Without Buddha I Could Not Be a Christian, published by Oneworld, 2009.)

For instance, all of us experience disappointment. To think of one example, at one point in my life I was recruited to serve in a local organization, and I was flattered and thrilled by the invitation. I waited and waited and finally the opportunity petered out.

This upset me, but I asked myself why. Other opportunities had meanwhile presented themselves and I was very happy (probably happier) making a difference via those areas of service. Was my ego hurt by the fact that the first opportunity didn't work out? Yes---but who cares? I needed to feel less sensitive and less prone to root my sense of inner well-being to temporary expectations.

We do this kind of thing to ourselves. We may not be egotistical people in the sense of feeling superior to others, but we become sad if we’re not noticed or called upon or needed, all of which points to a certain kind of ego-centeredness. Buddhism speaks to the suffering that we cause ourselves when the self is fragile or needful of being bolstered.

The grieving process is a deeper expression of acceptance of the way things are. Our sense of self is tied in with people (and pets) whom we love---which is as it should be, because we’re human in our loving relationships with one another. But then our loved one is gone, our situation has changed, and it may take us a long time to “process” that change. To base our well-being on the way things have been causes suffering for us. But the process is good to engage in a healthy way.

You might think, why use a concept like attachment when one can simply trust God to be with us and to guide us (Prov. 3:5-6, for instance)? I do trust God (very imperfectly, but persistently). But the idea of attachment gives me a certain way to look at trusting God. After all, we can say we trust God but we still remain in disappointment because we had, indeed, trusted God and things turned out differently. Then we suffer a double distress: both the situation and God let us down!

As a time of introspection and repentance/reorientation, Lent can be an excellent time to think about ways we trust God and to adopt mental techniques to help. Picturing my sense of self “unattaching” from expectations and anticipations helps me calm my mind, feel happy about my life (which really is awesome), and look forward to God’s adventures without second-guessing what God is up to.

(A post from 2014)