We Need to Talk

We Need to Talk
Ephesians 4:1-6, 15b

I teach a course at Webster U called Contemporary Moral Problems. As you can imagine, the topics can be controversial. I love guiding the students through difficult topics, where the disagreements can be substantial. I think I’m good at leading those discussions. Although I don’t like going to meetings, I enjoy leading them and working on consensus if I’m the chair.

Having difficult personal conversations, though, is a different thing. In those cases, I dislike confrontation, and I don’t always trust my own feelings to accurately assess what’s going on. Even as we speak, I need to have a painful conversation with someone (not family, not church), and I’d rather have a root canal.

This passage from Ephesians is a favorite concerning the essential interconnectedness that’s true of the church. Paul speaks of the traits of patience, gentleness, humility, peace, unity, and love that can characterize our relationships with others.

This is not easy. Different kinds of personalities push our buttons. Some people aren’t easy to get along with. Plus, it’s easy to get our feelings hurt in church settings, because we’re emotionally vulnerable in church, where we seek love, acceptance, and support.

In her Sunday sermon, Pastor Linda made an excellent point in discussing Joseph and his brothers. Why was it “easier” for the brothers to violently betray their brother—and then concoct an elaborate lie about his fate—than to talk to father Jacob about their feelings of jealousy? But that’s so human: many of us carry resentment and bitterness for years, instead of placing ourselves in the vulnerable position of an honest conversation. Fear of rejection, fear of seeming foolish, the perverse pleasure of mentally demonizing those who offended us: these and similar feelings get in the way.

Paul has a different vision. We really are united in Christ and the Spirit---God creates that relationship, it’s not something that we create. But we can step up and do the hard work of displaying that unity in the way we treat one another. Paul’s remark about being a prisoner for the Lord isn’t just a side comment. He makes a subtle point that his literal chains are analogous to the “bonds of peace” (vs. 3) that connect us.

A verse that complements this Ephesians passage is Romans 15:7, “Accept [or “welcome”] one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God” (NIV). To paraphrase: as much as I feel grateful and relieved for Christ’s acceptance of me and all my sins and flaws, then I can welcome others (with their own sins and flaws) as Christ’s beloved, too.

(My February contribution to the series of weekly devotions at our church.)