First Day of School!

An essay from 1995. I made only a couple changes, and kept the original present-tense, although my daughter is now a senior in college.

Beth and I drove our daughter to kindergarten the other day. It was her first day there. She had attended preschool; she already loves school. But we shed tears nonetheless.

She had a great time, of course! I did too, my first day of kindergarten.  I started at Washington School in Vandalia in the fall of 1962, and then after Christmas break, part of my class transferred to the brand-new Jefferson School, nearer my home. (When we visit Vandalia she says, in five-year-old fashion, "Dad, is that your old, old kindergarten school?" Thanks, kid!) I've been thinking about the differences and similarities between her and my kindergartens. Some things reflect the greater range of choices that are part of our modern age and the social changes of the past decades. But some things seem alike.

Fayette County, Illinois had nine grade schools. Our large Kentucky county has 83.

On my first day of school, I wore nice clothes and Fruit-of-the-Loom underwear (purchased at Vandalia's store The Model) and held tightly to a Huckleberry Hound doll. Emily wears a Disney's Pocahontas tee shirt and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers underclothes (purchased at Target) and likes her Barney doll (although she doesn't care so much for the show). Her sneakers have little lights on them. I wore Buster Browns without lights.

I watched new Hanna-Barbara cartoons on one of our four television stations. Emily watches thirty-five-year-old Hanna-Barbara cartoons (and newer ones on Nickelodeon) from among our forty stations.

Emily has instruction in Spanish and computer use once a week. I learned no Spanish, and computers (which weren't in schools) looked like this: http://www.old-computers.com/history/detail.asp?n=58&t=9  and
http://www.old-computers.com/museum/computer.asp?st=1&c=1028 

I loved Dr. Seuss and watched for his new books. Emily enjoys Dr. Seuss, too, plus the Berenstain Bears, Max and Ruby, and other series.

Few African Americans lived in Fayette County during my childhood. I had no non-white classmates and didn't think anything about it. Emily has several non-white classmates and doesn't think anything about it.

Mrs. Bannister was a wonderful teacher; so is Emily's Mrs. Smythe. How important are good teachers for a child, especially at the very beginning!

I had a half-day kindergarten. Emily has a full-day class.

Emily's obsessed with being five years old. I introduced myself to Mrs. Bannister by proudly telling her the date I was born.

Mr. Bannister, the principal at Washington, drove a Renault Dauphin in 1962. I have no idea what Emily's principal drives!

In 1962-1963, important word events included the deaths of Pope John XXIII and Marilyn Monroe, the Cuban Missile Crisis, the assassination of JFK, and others. Will Emily remember the deaths of Mickey Mantle and Jerry Garcia? The war in Bosnia? Bill Clinton's presidency? The OJ trial?

I loved to get candy at Vandalia's mom-and-pop groceries, especially McCormick's store at Third and Randolph, and the G. C. Murphy store downtown. Emily loves to get candy at Dairy Mart, a local chain.

When Mom became pregnant with me, she gave up a wonderful job at the G.C. Murphy. She enjoyed the downtown scene. "A lunch table in the Abe Lincoln Cafe," wrote Joseph Lyford in 1962, "is the scene of peppery exchanges on all varieties of subjects. One week of noontime debates covered desegregation, the cold war, bureaucratic government, the policies of Alexander Hamilton, teaching machines, Supreme Court decision, apportionment, the separation of powers, and Harvard." My mother loved being a part of all the downtown variety! Giving it up was difficult for her. My dad still worked long hours, of course. Beth and I share in Emily's care, and we've both kept our jobs, although I reorganized my career drastically in order to have more time for her. I see many dads dropping off and picking up their kids, too. Parental roles have changed.

My mom read Dr. Spock. We've read Dr. Mom.

Mom was afraid I'd be homesick during my first day at school, which was also my first time away from home. The predicable thing happened. I didn't think once of home till naptime. I'm sure Emily rarely misses us, too. The clerk at Dairy Mart told me that her (now 17-year-old) son, on his first day of kindergarten, made her wait outside while he went in alone!

I'm thinking about that last point. The popular author Robert Fulgham has written wonderful books, notably, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. His list is famous. He might have included one other thing. In kindergarten I learned: how eagerly, how early we begin to separate ourselves from our parents.